Perhaps the most hated word in the English language, “humility” is also the most respected–yet the virtue itself often evades us.

Like a multi-faceted diamond, it is the most sought-after trait; we gravitate towards the humble in droves because of their sheer magnanimity, attractiveness and rarity.

Aside from its near nonexistence today (the virtue can only be found among veritable living saints–and how many saints do you know?), what exactly does it mean to be humble?

Often we look to ourselves to identify certain qualities, but we can’t do this with humility because, like a wisp of smoke in the breeze, as soon as we declare ourselves to be humble, it’s no longer there!

School character traits

Perhaps that’s why humility is not found on many school bulletin boards or in classrooms as one of the desirable “character traits.” It doesn’t fit in very well with things like “friendly,” considerate” and “confident” that the Self-Esteem Movement produced, which has morphed into the “Be-Whatever-You-Want-To-Be” Movement of today.

I would go as far as to say that many children have never heard of the words, “humility” and “humble,” much less tried to emulate them…but I digress.

Bitter medicine or life-giving elixir?

Unlike other “you do you” character traits, humility requires us to be obedient to God’s laws, look at others’ needs and think of ourselves less.

Ouch. That’s like a triple kick in the gut to the self-indulgent mindset our society has today.

The word, “obedience,” is bad word and a buzz kill to some, and is therefore avoided at all costs or swatted down like a fly. It puts a damper on the self-esteem, self-actualization (the crown jewel of pop-psychology), the Homosexual and Pride Movements and, at the very least, leaves a sour taste on the lips of modern man.

That is, it puts a damper on our pride.

But who would have thought that the most bitter medicine is actually the elixir that leads to life?

That it is, in fact, humility (not tolerance or “being nice”) that’s required to live an authentic Christian life?

It is no accident that the only recorded words Jesus ever used to describe Himself were “meek” and “humble of heart” (Mt 11:29).

Credit where credit is due

So what is the definition of this enigmatic virtue? St. Bede the Venerable (c. 673-735) captured its essence by saying:

“Whatever good we see in ourselves, let us ascribe it to God and not to ourselves.”

Simply put, humility is realizing our “smallness” and utter dependence on God and being glad for it, because things don’t totally depend on us.

Like a small child helping his parents push a shopping cart, we realize God is just allowing us to assist Him in what He could already do Himself.

In this way, we can see how we insult God when we credit other things for what He does for us,–or worse, when we credit ourselves for the things He does for us.

Once we accept that we are just not that special without the generosity of God, paradoxically, life becomes more joyful.

Humility enables gratitude

Why? Because humility opens the door to gratitude, and the “Aren’t I great?” attitude becomes, “Isn’t God great?”.

Only a humble person knows that everything he is, the people in his life, whatever happens to him, and what he has comes from God, and that all are for his ultimate good (even the hard stuff).

He also knows that whatever difficulties he endures in this life, God wants to help bring him to a higher level of holiness and glory in heaven. (There are different varieties of holiness and “degrees” of glory in heaven.)

That means, that wonderful vacation or break from work? God provided that. The person you chose to marry? God brought him/her into your life. The children you have? God brought them into being. The food you eat and the medicine you take? God provided those (through human agents, but He provided them as well). Your intellect or money smarts? God gave you those. That person you forgave? God gave you the grace to forgive and strengthened your level of virtue. That vice you overcame? God helped you overcome it and strengthened your will.

Since everything is either allowed by God or comes from God, He constantly provides for us out of the abundance of His love.

With such mind-blowing generosity, it makes perfect sense that it is our ingratitude that hurts God the most.

Do we ascribe our talents, gifts and blessings to our own prowess, our genius, to “karma”, Mother Nature, the universe, to coincidence, to ourselves…to everything except God?

Humility is just

We render God an act of justice when we are reverent and thankful–that we in fact, owe God our humility.

St. Paul said, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:18). 

False humility

Despite what we see in the world, humility is not self-deprecation. That would be false humility, Satan’s sneaky counterfeit.

Since humility is the virtue that’s most painful to him, the closest the devil can get to tempting us to think we are humble is to get us to put ourselves down.

How do we know this? Jesus Christ and Mary–the most humble people who ever walked the earth–constantly gave thanks to God, submitted to His will and asked Him to bestow blessings onto themselves and others.

There is no indication that they ever disparaged themselves.

The true humility of Christ

We get a look at authentic humility when we frequently look to Christ. Though He is exalted far above all that exists, He became approachable for us in the Holy Eucharist for our sake!

And how much sacrilege and blasphemy He endures because of this unique vulnerability….

How humble Jesus must have been to “hide” His glory while He walked the earth, revealing just a glimpse of it in the supernatural event of His Transfiguration?

Even today, if He were to reveal His full glory to us while we’re alive, we would disintegrate on the spot!

Saints and sinners

So what separates the saints from the rest of us? Sure, their obvious abundance of love for God and neighbor, but it is their humility that enables them to love so heroically.

All saints know they are sinners.

But it is their humility that prevents them from expecting heaven because they know what they are without God’s grace.

Childlike or childish?

Like a small child who reaches out his arms to be lifted up when he falls, the saints are totally dependent on God. Because of this, God greatly exalts them.

This forces us to consider: Are we humble enough to trust that God knows what’s best for us? That we may not know what makes us truly happy, but God does?

Do we regularly take what we think should be ours, or do we offer ourselves as a gift to others? Do we simply want to please ourselves or,–like the saints–do we want to please God?

Mary, most humble, pray for us!

Litany of Humility:

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,

Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being loved,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being honored,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being praised,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being approved,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being despised,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Amen.

Sources:

Litany of Humility by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val y Zulueta, EWTN website, accessed August 10, 2024.